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Managing?


On July 1st, I was in a major car accident going around 120 kilometres an hour when we struck a deer that ran across the highway. I was sitting wrong in the car and I ended up hitting my head on both my shoulder and the side of the car. The car suffered $27,000 dollars worth of damage and luckily I walked a way with a minor concussion and a jaw/neck injury. On October 16, the doctors put an orthotic in my mouth which screwed up everything. Since then, I have missed 9 out of 17 days of school because I can't get out of bed due to headaches, nausea, nerve pain, and so much more. I've also had a few medication changes which mess with everything as well. I'm in constant pain and I go back to the doctor on Friday for another medication change which is going to suck. I am also worried about school. I am missing so much and sometimes I end up breaking down because I am under so much stress. I place a lot of pressure on myself to be the best and have awesome grades that for the most part are unobtainable when you're at school 2 days a week or less. I use to feel gorgeous and would work on looking and feeling like I was radiating beauty but now I just feel gross like my problems have taken over me. I am working hard to get back to where I was but we'll have to wait and see what happens next.

It took me way too long to learn this lesson but it is totally okay to let people know that you are not okay. I am not okay. I struggle to eat, sleep, walk, read, and so many other basic things that I use to take for granted. It is a social normative to say you're okay when you're not. Here is something that I was told today by my Grandfather with changed my perspective on being okay;

G: Hey Kid

A: Hey Old Man, sorry I missed you're call

G: It's okay. How are you feeling today?

A: I'm okay. How about you?

G: You know you don't have to lie to me, right?

A: I know. I guess I am just use to saying it now

G: You don't need to tell people you're okay when you're not. You're better then that.

This short conversation changed my views on how I should respond when asked "how are you doing?". My favourite response has to be "I'm managing" which shows that I'm alright but I'm not thriving. Life is hard but with understanding family, friends, and even strangers, life gets easier!

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